Yes it is possible to be a TGirl and Married

[carol Smith]

[FO
Another milestone in my life. On Saterday it is my 52nd Wedding Anniversery.

Not all a bed of roses, for a long time my wife knew there was something wrong but could never put her finger on it. At one period she thought I was gay.(god forbid). Anyway one night after a row over nothing, I just told her.
We sat down and talked all night. Best thing I ever did we now shop for clothes etc and get on just fine. THERE MUST BE A MORAL HERE SOMEWHERE?? Any suggestions?

Love to all
Carol & Phil:)




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[jacqui]

i am so very very pleased for you both in this day and age it is rare to have been married that long in the first place i am glad that she accepts you for who you are and still loves you all the best for your futue together

[Sarah Hughes]

Got no suggestion of a moral, sorry Carol.
But you are a lucky girl.
(Who is that trolope in the reply post above with Jacqui? looks like a right tart:)
Well done on 52 years....twice a life sentence init?
Glad your both happy, thats real nice.
Sarah

[Sally Ann Smith]

How can you live with a person for 20 years and not tell them

Yes my wife knows even to the point She complains there is no room for my socks as I have to many tights in the drawer. She also knows my fem name of Sally. I am not saying she is happy, after all she did not get married to a woman did she. I have found if you are not over the top she will tolatate it .

Now the hard bit Children. Yes on ocation we have a house full of them!!
You have to be realistic what ever your problems are, the kids come first. You DONT dress in front of them. Never, Never, Never. Or for that matter dress outside your home, for if any of their class mates find out.

So you go to Blackpool simple

Just Sally

[debs_n_soots]

Hi Sally,

I think that a lot of people live with people for a long time without telling them...reason...simple...fear

Fear that they won't be able to cope and will reject you.
Fear that they'll tell other people in their upset and your life will be ruined.

It took me eight years. Mostly my fears were unfounded. But, at the time, my fears seemed real enough.

Selfish? Yes undoubtedly - but also I was in denial most of the time. If you don't admit something to yourself how can you admit it to someone else?

Difficult for me to comment on kids - I don't have any. Do they always come first? Thats a very western ideal. Certainly you should do your best to protect them - but (depending on all sorts of variables) perhaps you should be honest with them too? Not an easy one - and different for every familly I would think?

[rachelb]

Deb's has said most of it.
Yes, it was about 20 years for me also, I have been through the story before on our Forums. What wife would REALLY be happy after raising a family with their HUSBAND, to find that he absolutly loves wearing womens clothes! That is a lot for most people to get used too, let alone be happy about it. My wife does tolerate it, as long as it isn't thrust in her face she lets me continue onwards. She was toleratant enough yesterday to let me get out of my sick bed and wander round the house wearing a nice warm pair of white satin lace trimmed pyjamers - and that day was also our 26th wedding anniversay! (I don't wear anything in bed normaly - shh, don't tell)

[carol Smith]

:)Thank you Jacqui & Sarah for your good wishes and comments.

It takes a special lady to understand a TGirl after years of marrage. When you are young and in love you do not think of the consequent of your actions.
After all a young male with homorns raceing at a rate of knots is mostly driven by whats between his legs not his brain.

It is in later years that guilt rears it's ugly head and you take the chance it will work out. We all know it is not going to go away.

After all in your courting days you do not suddenly say to your new girl friend oh have you a pair of clean knickers I can borrow "I'm a TGirl".

The courts are full of divorce cases simply because you "told your wife"

Is it worth it???? only you can decide!! In my personal case a very big YES.

Carol

[jacqui]

hi i cant comment on alot of things only that after years of staying clear of men i met sarah in mardi and she asked me to dance i did admit have strange ideas floating in my head like i am dancing with a man dressed as a woman in middle of mardi how strange from then on its history i said would never hold hands or kiss when dressed like that in public well that went by the board now i just nick all her clothes as she will tell you when stay there lol
i have looked at the comments about children i have 4 3 of them with me and i have found with mine if you explain the truth to them they except if young enough example i have alot of gay friends one even lived with me for mths my 2 youngest asked questions and he just sat down and explained to them after that they fine they know my drag queen friends same again dont bat an eye lid i am hoping i have bought them up not to be raciest in any way shape or form and to except people for who they are not what they are in fact sarah knows i have told the 3 that are with me about her didnt even care asked a couple of questions i answered over done with so hopefully i have done a good job with them or perhaps i am just lucky with my children i just dont know but for a marriage to last for that length of time in this day and age is a miracle in it self i am just so glad that there are women out like me who are not nasty and horrible and still love there man even though likes to be a woman gives alot of hope to alot of people

[noeleena]

hi ... hey Carol how neat yes i know where you are coming from for us 34 years a comment was made why did you not say any thing before . for me it was not my time strange as that may be at 50 there was a shift in me & from then on well it was all out so its nice to hear of others how they get on. staying to gether how neat congrats on that for you two Carol & your s o . love it ....noeleena....

[Ina Serene Cowan]

Morality is too complicated an issue here. My partner of some 40 years found some creditcard bills in April 2007 that were unexplainable (unless you knew Ina!). So we had some serious Q&A responses that lasted weeks. I finally explained all ... after hiding Ina 100% successfully all those years. Now she is the biggest supporter of Ina and her pals.

She knew there was something missing but couldnt put her finger on it. Now she says she is happy to know all of me. So life has become much better for Ina in this past year,
xxx
Ina

[noeleena]

hi... i was going to, send a p m to you then it would not let me so ill do it here . o dear me &computers ......sigh..... ill send this then if its okay ill do it here sorry about this its hard as it is some times its just me,,,,,,catch ya.... noeleena....

[dee davidson]

To Carol Smith from Dee Davidson I have been married three times & all my wives knew from the start that i cross dressed I am married to Carol & she has been to the club on several occasions & I have her full support & no my two divorces were not related to me cross dressing so the moral is honesty is the best police but this is only my view love from Dee & Carol xxx

[dee davidson]

to Carol Smith from Dee Davidson
Having talked about this issue with my wife her answer to telling the wife leads to divorce is......... not telling the wife in the FIRST PLACE leads to the divorce.
She says if we had married and then she had found out about my cross dressing, she would have divorced me, not because of the cross dressing, but because I had not been honest with her and I wouldn't have been the person she thought she was married to. Also if I didn't tell her the truth about that important part of my life, what else was I keeping from her?
love from Dee and Carol xxxxxxx

[carol Smith]

I have had the pleasure of meeting both you and Carol at the Ren on two occasions. I note with interest your observations however--

It is now 52 years since I married and in those day's a lady would just not understand. It is different to-day with the advent of computers etc.
How lucky we are that places like the Ren are allowed to exist. In my day the police would have closed it down never mind the clubs etc.

In fact it was against the law to dress in womans clothes. So you see it was not as easy as you may think to come clean as it were. I guess some of us are very lucky to choose a partner that is understanding of others needs.

Just my personl thoughts
Hugs Carol


to Carol Smith from Dee Davidson
Having talked about this issue with my wife her answer to telling the wife leads to divorce is......... not telling the wife in the FIRST PLACE leads to the divorce.
She says if we had married and then she had found out about my cross dressing, she would have divorced me, not because of the cross dressing, but because I had not been honest with her and I wouldn't have been the person she thought she was married to. Also if I didn't tell her the truth about that important part of my life, what else was I keeping from her?
love from Dee and Carol xxxxxxx

[Lynda Collins]

:)Dee's other half Carol davidson is now on the forum......:):)

[secondtimeout]

:)Dee's other half Carol davidson is now on the forum......:):)


Dee isn't from Birmingham is she?

When I went to see Dr Kousal in Leicester (1995) I met some one there called Dee (post op TS) and she came back with me to Birmingham when I offered her a lift back.

[Lynda Collins]

No, Dee is not ts and is married to Carol and are a lovely couple..... Carol is very supportive .. mind you there are probably a lot of Dee's out there

[secondtimeout]

Sorry, my mistake :o

[Lynda Collins]

No problem

[jackiejones]

Good luck to you all,i have never been married and dont plan to either! unless its someone very rich!:D just kidding,but im serious about not getting married.

[Sally Ann Smith]

Well its been work work work for weeks. But when I got home my wife had been shopping and got me a lovely new dress. just what i wanted it made feel a lot better.

Sally