A Moment of Weakness

[Grace02]

Had a bit of a blip last night. I was on my own in the house with no engagements to fulfill so, as I usually do in these situations I decided it was time for a bit of dress-up. I'd picked up my latest outfit on friday night (see my pics) so decided to put it on and take some photos.

The trouble is that the corset didn't meet up at the back and in trying to tighten it I heard various taring sounds. Not what you want in a brand new ensemble, not that it was the corset's fault, it's just that I'd ordered the wrong size.

This was annoying enough in itself but on top of that I had some sort of reaction to my eye makeup and as a result had to cut short my evening's entertainment. I was so annoyed.

With these setbacks I entered the "Why do I bother?" ditch. I felt like giving the whole thing up and ditching the hundreds of pounds worth of wardrobe and paraphinalea in the sea. I've never felt this down about crossdressing before and it doesn't feel right. I had a really bad night's sleep but in the morning I felt better about the whole thing. These things are sent to try us and I'ts just a case of getting some sort of hypoallergenic makeup and having the corsets altered. No big deal but at the time I felt really bad. At least now I know I've saved my self a few quid by not purging (I would have replaced all the stuff at some point) and if I want to go all the way with this girlie thing I've still got the option.

Phew!

[rachelb]

The trouble is that the corset didn't meet up at the back and in trying to tighten it I heard various taring sounds. Not what you want in a brand new ensemble, not that it was the corset's fault, it's just that I'd ordered the wrong size.

This was annoying enough in itself but on top of that I had some sort of reaction to my eye makeup and as a result had to cut short my evening's entertainment. I was so annoyed.

My right eye waters a lot so I use waterproof mascara - Boots No.7 do one, but recently I have been using Rimmel 'Glam'eyes' waterproof mascara. It has a super 'new' type of brush/comb which does seem to put the stuff on better. I also use a waterproof eyeliner pencil, but I got that from Charles Fox in Covent Garden, there could well be other makes out there.

As for the corset, maybe it was too small, maybe you were too big!!!:p:p

[Ellena]

I know somewhere in Balckpool where you can get your corest altered if you wish

Ellena

[AuntieJackie]

I know how you feel Grace, I been at that stage when you feel like giving up, but thank goodness I did'nt do it.

:) Auntie Jackie

[Jennifer Kielty]

Hi Grace

I went through what you are/were going through earlier this year, the revulsion was so strong I was about to just throwing it all away? It was only a really good GG who knows about my dressing that talked me out of it. The reason? Because I do not want to be a crossdresser/Tranny! Call it what you will, I just want to be a normal male person!! Some people will say define normal? I cannot! Linzi made a really good point, that it’s like being born with an addiction and not matter how hard we try, we will never get rid of it. I’m still at the denial stage, believing that over time I will!!! Don’t get me wrong, I love the art of dressing, the illusion of something that I am not, but it’s all the thoughts and doubts after the dressing has finished, that I am have issues with! From reading many stories of other girls this is a process that we all need to go through before we can finally accept who and what we are. I’ve had a whirlwind 12 months so I’m not surprised that I have crashed and burned. I am back to dressing again, which to be honest is getting enjoyable again. Will I have other issues and urges to purge? Probably, but the Ren group has been really supportive to me which I am very grateful for. Don’t suffer in silence there is always someone to talk too.

Jenny

[rebbecca]

As a crossdresser my presentation out look and perceived persona is a man, I wear articles of clothing primarily intended for women: panties, bras sometimes, sissy dresses, camisoles, tights and heels, and would love to try high leg boots.

I am a crossdresser I don’t use the term transvestite too myself any more as it sounds so negative and tranny even more so. As crossdresser, my “crossdressing” it is as much self expression as it is for the feel and kicks.

There is a single reason for me I like the way women's clothes feel: a flowing skirt against stockinged legs, a silk blouse… it's very sensual especially against my hairy arms and legs!!!.

Men's clothing just isn't sensual for me. Functional? Yes. Comfortable? not really. Sensual? Hardly.

Men's clothing is pretty boring: pants and a shirt, and for business - a suit.

Women, on the other hand, have flexibility in dressing of which, to be honest, I am quite envious.

Women crossdress all the time. They buy men's jeans, shirts and trainers... even underwear, and they do it without shame or ridicule. In fact, the female crossdresser is considered fashionable.

I have read many articles in my wife’s magazines (yes I read them) about how to liven up ones wardrobe by borrowing clothes from your boyfriend, husband, (how I wish I could reverse that and borrow my wifes)

We, on the other hand, do not have this freedom. The wearing clothes associated with women are frowned upon by society. If I wear women's clothing it is not socially acceptable and we as crossdressers open ourselves to scorn and ridicule (other than in select places).

We are tagged as freaks and misfits. It is immediately assumed that we are either gay (no insult intended at all to either gay or transgendered members), which is false more times than not, I have no tendencies like that – I like silky things. :o

The repression feelings is not a good thing, we, are not supposed to have a feminine side. I we were to show interest in stereotypically feminine interests we the risk of being pigeonholed as above.

My counsellor told me men who crossdress have strong feminine sides that needs to expressed. Whether crossdressed or not, this feminine side is still there, fighting to be heard; although society would rather that it not exist at all. How true this was and such a revelation to me (still cry at things and films on the telly):p

During my counselling sessions I learnt that the crossdressing state is now considered to be one of the normal states for males, and more so, we were programmed like this from early adolescence.

There are beliefs that this programming can have happened in the womb and even from conception ie we were born like this we will always be like this and we cannot deny it or if we are honest hide it – even from ourselves.

Even me who is deeply in the closet has had the wife say your messing with your nails like a ***** woman or when I feel silky satiny material etc some equally poinient comment is usually made (giggles)

Welcome to the life of a crossdresser.

The simple fact is that the majority of us who crossdress are really no different than any other men. We work, have families and basically live like everyone else except to whatever degree we like to wear women's clothes.

Crossdressing allows me a freedom of self expression which the confines of society's definition of 'man' just won't allow. I like that freedom when I put panties or my sissy dress on. I relax and feel good!

It has taken me a long time become comfortable with what I am. I am a crossdresser. Even though I am in the closet and with all the baggage that comes along with that statement, I wouldn't want change that I am for anything.

So Grace and Jenny don’t purge don’t deny just enjoy the clothes for what they are and also remember there are many of us who would love to dress in public but are not fortunate enough to be as passable as you two are!

Hugs

Bekky

[Sarah Hughes]

I felt like giving the whole thing up and ditching the hundreds of pounds worth of wardrobe and paraphinalea in the sea.


No dont do that Grace.....next thing we will be inundated with Octupus-i wearing your .....fishnets....Fish Floundering in your heels....and Crabs in yer knickers!

Cod help us.