Hello form Jackie

[jackiejones]

HI my Name is Jackie,im a part time mid 30s T-Girl from Bolton i would love to be full time(who would not!) but i can only be part time due to work family etc.

Like many i have been dressing from a young age and have been a closet dresser until recently,i have tried to conform and be a macho male! LOL in straight relationships etc but the urge to be Jackie has got stronger.

Im free and single and no kids etc,so thankfully there is nothing holding me back from been me,and i plan to stay single and continue to spend more time as Jackie,but i can not be full time thanks to work and i have not yet come out to family and freinds so i will see how things develop? and how far im willing to take it?:confused: just playing safe for now when it comes to family and work etc

I go out quite often to the Village and Blackpool and have been visiting the Renaissance since Autum last year and i have found out about this Forum from Linda and the Girls,i wish the meet was every week i like it that much

I have a lot to learn about been a Girl so all advice help will be most welcome and i look foerward to getting to know you Girls and Boys.

I am interested in meeting up with any Girls who want to go out shopping and out and about dressed etc as i want more time as Jackie in the real world and its not as fun going out alone.;)

I have met many of you at the meet and i think your all wonderfull:cool: and very brave! and i want to make more freinds if possible.

Any questions? then please ask i wont bite!:D

Jackie x x x

[secondtimeout]

Welcome Jackie.

I see your point about learning to be a girl. From my own personal point of view even though your own feelings and mindset can be female, on the outside you are still male, years of being male, conditions you to acting like one in the way that you walk, stand and hold yourself in the company of others whilst at the same time I guess hiding the other "real" side of you away.

It's the way that society is, from a young age girls act like girls and boys act like boys and that's the way that society tells us to behave. It's only when we get this strong sense of being different that we try to alter our ways and have to learn all over again by making our outside physical appearance match our inside outlook on life.

[jackiejones]

I could not have put it better myself;) do you have a name Secondtimeout? yes i have picked up a lot of male baggage and body language etc,and i have been the typical overcompensating male when not dressed and tried to kid myself that i like male activitys when i dont! LOL

[secondtimeout]

...i have been the typical overcompensating male when not dressed and tried to kid myself that i like male activitys when i dont! LOL

I think most of us have done that. As a boy I didn't like sports at all and I'd do anything to get out of doing games lessons, I used to try and avoid the showers too, I didn't want boys looking at me. When boys I knew were playing with action men and toy cars in the playground I was always hanging around with the girls, I didn't actually realise these innocent actions until I was in my late teens which is when it started to hit home that I was really different, this is where I think conditioning comes in. You are what you are on the outside and so this must be the same on the inside, so you're led to believe...


I agree with you about doing male things that you really don't want to do. I had to do this quite a lot in my first time a round, especially where I worked. I was still expected to pick up heavy boxes for women in the factory, I was on hormones etc and erally wasn't as strong as I used to be but becuase I had the appearance of a man on the outside I was expected to be able to do a mans job.

[jackiejones]

Thanks i dont mean to be nosey,just that its nicer to know someones name,but i wont refere to you as Rachel if that makes you more comfortable?

Sorry that you gave up etc first time round:( but good luck with finding your way again

This is by no way a dig at you when i say this,but i have purposly avoided serious relationships for a while now as i know they would not work out in the long run because of Jackie,ill just have to be upfront and tell them at the beginning about me.

[secondtimeout]

I don't mind you being nosey, I'm usually a private person and like to keep my own private affairs to myself but as peeps on here are going through what I am right now or have already been there then this is obviously one place I can share my thoughts without being ridiculed for being different.

Just like you I too avoided relationships. I had been with my previous girlfriend for 2 years before making the first transition and through the next 3 years I'd get girls come up to me trying to give me the come on but I'd always say no, I was almost jumped by the one girl, she wanted me that much. In the end I just came straight out and told her about me. My house was just like a sort of girlie bachelorette place :) I'm not sure what it was but some girls seemed to be more attracted to me whilst going through the transition than they ever were.

When things got really tough during the end I decided enough was enough, I must conform otherwise live a life that's unhappy and full of uncertainty as I go through the struggles to come to terms with my own identity from within, so that's what I did. If I knew then what I know now then I'd most probably be sitting here as a happy post-op with all the right bits in all the right places.

[Rose Marie]

Welocome hugs Jackie :)

[jackiejones]

Thanks Rose Marie:)

Tanks for sharing your thoughs Secondtimeout,this is a lazy reply! sorry hun:D but what i want to say in a nutshell is best not to look back and and lets all start afresh and look foerward to a happy future,and a good choice of name Secondtimeout so if your lucky enough to get a second chance then grab it with both hands:)